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Why hello there! And welcome to another exciting installment of: That Thing That Might Get Updated Quarterly! I'm your host, Alex!
Now, let's see... where to begin... ah yes! Rather then bore you with another long winded post about Transformers. My soul. The black pits and eldritch powers I have sold myself and others to, to attain greater power and more valuable robot collectibles, I have decided to bring you up to speed on my newest diversion: That of the Dark Knight.
Now, Marvel comics and DC comics were a tightly knit part of my childhood, possibly eclipsing even that of my robot masters. I would say a great deal of that also came from my father as he had grown up with the stories of Super Men and Winged-Nocturnal-Mammal Men. I was of course absorbed quite swiftly by the tales of wonder that superheroes can bring, though I must admit, my interest waned a bit more as I reached my teenage years. Not to say that it ever truly disappeared, oh no! I always found joy in watching the cartoons or films produced about them, though in specific, I suppose that came down to two particular figures: Batman and Spider-man. Ironically two of the 'poster boys' for their respective companies.
But as it came down to it, I found myself revisiting one of my most beloved shows, though I cannot say from my childhood, as it aired around the turn of the millennium. Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker. This film... is gold. It brings together the world of Bruce Wayne as the Batman and the world of Terri McGinnis, his successor 20 years in the future, in a way, I had never dreamed. Sure the show had it's moments, revisiting old enemies and the like... but this film was the real deal. But then again, it revolved around the true final showdown between Batman and his twisted nemesis. How could that not be pure unadulterated win?
Censorship boards and 9/11 is how. Yes, that's right. A dark, brooding masterpiece was cut, spliced and hacked into a simple, ordinary masterpiece. You see, both the unaltered and altered films are similar enough to be fantastic... but the changes that were made... were ludicrous at times! There was a scene with red spray painted words changed to purple, simply because it looked too much like blood. Seriously? The color red for paint is off limits? Fine. Why not. Yellow looks a bit too much like urine as well. Right out. Green? Bile. No. But I digress.
Next we had the real kicker. The death of the Joker. Now.. I won't say to much, but, suffice to say, cutting out the Joker's final words should have been a crime. He had finally pushed the envelope too far, and the censored version gave him an easy, clumsy way out. No. He died the only way he could have. Leaving you with a grim smirk on your face. Other then that it was merely a few changed lines here and there, things that were just juvenile, and could easily have been ignored.
I know I've rambled alot about one little film, rather then any large, over arcing topic, but... well... there will be plenty of time for that later. Till then...
~Signing off
So it is no surprise that I babble on endlessly about Transformers on this blog, but there was a time when such would not have been the case... however, my love was rekindled by the newest incarnation of the animated television show and at this time, I had decided to rope my ever-loving girlfriend into my obsession... little had I realize the depths I would be forced to lower myself into to accomplish this goal...It began simply enough at first. A year prior I had taken her to the Michael Bay film, and she seemed genuinely intrigued, but not yet ready to leap onto the Transformers band wagon... so, when I was watching the first episode of Transformers Animated, I came across one singular moment that I saw as the gateway to hooking her in and making her slave to the cybertronian gods:
A simple image, yes, but... given some of my beloved's interests in fiction, namely those of a homosexual nature... that small shading of red on Bumblebee's cheeks-- that in all honesty, I have still yet to discern as to WHY it was there.-- was the one thing that could win her over.
...I think it was then, deep in the pit of my soul that I knew what was to come... as though a premonition... I felt a heavy hand on my heart, and a whisper in my mind telling me that once the doorway was open... it would never be closed.
I stepped through it regardless. And the obsession began as I detailed it in my blog before, those small little drabbles of toys I mentioned before have grown, filling shelves and desks to the brim with small, mechanical dieties... and yet, I was not yet satisfied with just the small victories... so I introduced her to Beast Wars, as I mentioned before as well. I used similar tactics, finding the two characters she would identify with, find the most plausible way to construe a relationship with, and now...
now....
Eh Gods...
what have I done....
I admit that I used tactics to decieve her into falling for the pairing above, some I thought merely a clever ruse that would remain undiscovered while her love for Transformers grew... but now, her power exceeds even my own...she is corrupting me... showing me what were once clever ruses... leave very real questions unanswered...
I am undone....
~Signing off
Ah yes...the title, it will explain everything to those who recall those famous, motivational words, uttered by none other then Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime as he attempted to resolve a situation through careful diplomacy, rather then brutal violence.
Yes. Thank you, Michael Bay, you once again take my hopes and smash them on the ground from your throne of money and broken dreams. To say simply that Revenge of the Fallen did not meet my expectations is an understatement. Now, I have complained about the first Transformers film, to be sure, there Autobots were hardly on screen, and the Decepticons even less! But still... when I compare these flaws to the newest entry into Michael Bay's disturbingly idiotic vision of my beloved franchise... they seem quite insignificant.
I know this is quite late, and it seems quite unlikely Transformers is playing even at a five dollar theater in the bad part of town anymore... but I wouldn't be keeping to my schedule if I made -timely- updates.
Now then, Revenge of the Fallen was a film I was looking forward to with every fiber of my being, the anticipation was maddening, and ever bit you saw on trailers or in stills were always just so fantastic! But... that's because no one really TALKS in those trailers, and truly, that is what they probably spent millions of dollars trying to cover up. The dialogue in this film makes the first's seem like it should have won an Oscar. Character development must have been thrown out in favor of a few more minutes of explosions and Shia LeBouf screaming. The only new human added to the cast has one motivation it seems, be annoying, scream like a woman, and just be an albatross around the neck of the other characters. Bravo screenwrites, truly, you have mastered the art of entertaining five year old children.
This also has the unfortunate side effect of making the act of telling a story almost impossible. Either the characters are off rattling away on some randomly unexplained tangent, or they evil robots are talking about vague, unexplained acts of revenge for something that is never really explained.
It should be worth mentioning that though they are delivering lines that would have to have a multimillion dollar salary behind them to get you to actually say without groaning in agony... the voice acting was actually quite good. The new robots, for as little as you see them, are voiced well for their part, and certain characters actually changed how they spoke to better fit their character: namely Starscream. Gone is the pseudo-macho deep voice from the first, and now he whimpers and squeaks like the whipped little girl he was in the old show.
And now we return to the title. You see, in the first film, Optimus was quite caring, respectful of innocent life, and only turned to open violence when there was little choice besides., much like he was in the cartoon. But in Revenge of the Fallen, he is particularly blood thirsty, seeming to actually ENJOY killing his misguided brethren... and is probably the most disturbing turn in this film.
Well, I think I've prattled enough, bottom line, Revenge of the Fallen was not a good movie. Seeing the Transformers was enjoyable but...that couldn't save this film for me in the long run. And I shudder when I look online and find articles declaring it has become the 9th highest grossing film EVER in the United States... what does that say about this country now days? Truly...
~Signing off
Ah ha! You see! I am a man of my word! Another update inside of six months! And look! a title hinting at something other then Transformers!
Yes, that's right, I'm keeping my word on that too! There shall be no further mention of the robots what are in disguises beyond this line of text! No no, that shall be saved for the here after! For this post is about the other obsession in my personal life, away from my work and hidden in the shadowy underworld that is currently my room. Yes, for those who did not guess from the title, of which I am sure there are quite a few, I have recently purchased the newest Monster Hunter game, and along with it a PlayStation Portable. Why? Because that's simply how far my madness stretches.
You see, I had sworn to myself never to use the aforementioned gaming console. There was little interest in it for me, and I have always stood by the father of modern portable gaming devices, Nintendo. Yes, though I never owned a Gameboy, or it's Color iteration, I have owned each of their following devices... save the DSi, which I feel is a worthless addition to steal more of my precious lifesblood... I mean money.
But I digress! The PSP seemed to me to be superfluous, and has never truly held any games that have captured my interest... that is, before I played Monster Hunter for the PS2. You see, Monster Hunter is FANTASTICLY popular in Japan... the States? Not so much... So, it has held a rather small, but devoted following. My first experiences with the game were...shall we say, less then enjoyable. It is a game with a near nonexistent learning curve. For instance. Your first mission is simple. Kill some innocent, peace-loving dinosaurs for meat. Cook the meat properly, then return home. Simple enough. The next mission? Kill what are essentially velociraptors. Alright, not too hard... and it progresses as such for a bit further, fitting larger raptor 'dromes' as they are called... until you reach the ending point to the effective tutorial. Where you are tasked to kill a wyvern.
Now... I'm not quite able to emphasize just how dramatic a shift this is in mere words... but to put it simply... if you have barely managed to squeak by in your missions thus far, with whatever weapon you choose, be it melee or one of the two ranged weapons available... you are going to lose. And lose many. Many. MANY times. So many times will this one beast beat and devour you... that you will wish to place your fists through the screen in a vain attempt to throttle your cawing, flapping, and rather silly looking tormentor.
But yes, though my first attempt to master this game ended in miserable failure and loathing... I eventually found myself coerced into giving it another try... with a different weapon, and thus I found my one true love, the thing which my in-game avatar hold lovingly, like a father might cradle his newborn child: the bowgun. And with my new found ranged superiority, I was ready to crush my foes from afar!
Inevitably, Jessica and I heard of the online functions for the PS2, and quickly endeavoured to reach this mystical land, and explore the far reaches with more of our Monster Hunting comrades! To say that our addiction grew is... an understatement. And so it lasted for many, many months...before eventually, we found it harder to fit into the well established cliques and hierarchy that presented itself to us in these communities, and we faded away. However, or love for the game continued to flow beneath the surface, and we found ourselves longing to return to the world we both craved to adventure and slay in!
...and so it was, that not but a year or two ago, we heard of our ticket back! Monster Hunter Freedom Unite, for the PSP. And so it is now, that we have managed our return, slaying beasts and reaping their delicious, delicious rewards!
Well, that's enough mad ramblings for now, until next time!
~Signing off
And there you have it! May 8, 1984. Transformers is brought before the masses to begin its unquestioned rule with an iron fist!...well, maybe not that last part, but the rest of it to be sure! Alright, so I'm going to say it now. The next time I write here I promise to all of my non-readers that I will have something Non-Transformers related, and that something will be here in under six months! Until then!~Signing off
Ah yes... Transformers. The subject I'm sure nobody wants to hear more about... but which I will gladly begin speaking of anyway, cause I am obviously insane!Well, as is no doubt apparent by the date of this post and subsequent posts before it, Transformer mania is still gripping this household hard! We've moved up from simply enjoying the recent live action film and the newest iteration of the animated series to delving truly into the depths of this ever expanding universe!And more to the point, and rather vague reference to in the title of this post:
This was perhaps one of my favorite takes on the Transformers mythology. It was different, shifting the focus off of robots that turned into things like cars, trucks and airplanes... to a show about robots that turned into life like animals!! ...no wonder it took people a while to get into this show. Though once you gave this show a chance, looked passed the obvious flaws and took it for what it was, you would be blown away.Beast Wars was developed by Mainframe Studios as their second fully 3-D animated television show. By today's standards it's a bit low-tech, but when it first hit the air in 1996, this was revolutionary! But the animation was only one part of the puzzle, with exceptional, if not campy, writing for each of it's three seasons, Beast Wars evolved from a stock action-comedy series, to one that has only been rivaled by the new Transformers Animated.Well, I suppose that's enough nerdy nostalgia for the moment. I will most likely return with more at some point... but until then!~ Signing off
Well... about another month has passed since my last post, and a lot has been going on! First, the Transformer obsession continues to grow... I believe our current total runs at about 22 of various size categories... In fact, it is now easier to mention who we -don't- have then who we do... and by my account, I think that is only five of the characters in the series: Grimlock, Bulkhead, Wreck-Gar, Skywarp and Ultra Magnus... This list of course not counting certain paint or size variants available for a few characters... Also, Jessica and I have both recently returned from a week long visit to my parents in California. It was a fun trip, and definitely a nice break away from work... if only it had been a bit longer... The only nightmarish part of the trip was most likely the return trip. We arrived at the airport a good amount of time before our flight was due to depart... however... said flight was to be delayed by nearly two hours, due to snowfall in Seattle... normally, this might have been acceptable... except for the fact that this then caused us to miss our next flight back to Kansas. A quick trip to customer service provided us with two alternates however... one leaving two hours after our first flight... the second... nearly five hours later... Our seats for the earlier were only stand-by however... but, it seemed that, happily... luck was on our side and we got our seats, and only an hour later... we driving home once more...And on a related note to both topics... informing my father of our recent obsession and in response, spark a sort of renewed interest in the subject as well! In my childhood, my father was almost more obsessed with collecting Transformers then I am now! And, as a gift on my arrival, I brought him his own Animated Grimlock toy, as he was my father's favorite... What followed was our delving deep into the depths of my parent's garage, on a mission of search and rescue... pulling from the depths of my childhood memorabilia... the remnants of our once great Transformers collection of yore... within said Ark, I discovered many great treasures... The first toy of Optimus Prime... the weapons of a hundred soliders... and armies of various Decepticon combiners, all missing just enough pieces and figures to complete a whole being... but still enough to create my own mish mash of a monster... That just about covers my nerdiness for the month so far... probably comeback with more later...~Signing off
Ah yes... Transformers... one of the few things from my childhood I can look back on fondly. There were many old animated shows I loved as a child: GI JOE, He-Man, Ghostbusters and many more... but Transformers is one of the very few I can still look back on fondly. I mean, in this day, you tell someone you like the old He-Man show, they ramble on about how gay it was... and well, in retrospect... there were more then a few eyebrow raising moments... But you say 'I used to love Transformers!' ...and you're likely to be met with cries of agreement. It's funny to think that in my lifetime, I have seen Transformers born... as a matter of fact the same year -I- was born... and in a way, we've grown a lot together... We went through similar phases... during my Elementary schools years, Transformers was your classic Saturday morning cartoon, filled with all the wholesome, bloodless, non-lethal violence all 80's cartoons had... then, in my High School years, it grew and changed, moving into the digital age, creating wholey beautiful 3D worlds and characters with story and depth, while also exploring more foreign markets, following the path of current day Japanese anime shows, while I know this may seem and odd statement, as Transformers was a japanese product, it never really had the flavor of -anime- so to speak until only a few years ago... And now, in my adult hood, it's grown into it's own, entering the real world, on the big screen, seeing the world as it really is and not as just some "silly cartoon"... but it is also retrospective... going back to it's own youth, revisiting the things it once was and holding them in loving respect. Transformers Animated seemed at a glance to me... another attempt to market a recognizable brand name to a new, young generation, and defiling my beloved memories... but it was not so! As I began to look into this new image of my beloved series... I found, as I said before, a series that tries, and succeeds, at bringing the same sort of childhood wonder I felt, almost perfectly, to a new generation, while also offering those of us that grew up with it a show that pays beautiful homage to the Transformers we all hold with such reverance.Jessica mentioned it a few days ago, and it is quite true... my love for Transformers has indeed extended to purchasing their toys en mass... And as an update, our army stands at ten now. Swoop and Oil Slick have joined the crew. Well, I think that's enough nerdy nostalgia for now...~Signing off
